-- If the Super Bowl is not the "last stop" for Steelers fullback Jerome "The Bus" Bettis, he needs to lose his "spare tire" for next season ... Pittsburgh wide receiver Hines Ward was recently named honorary mayor for a day in Washington, Pa., and stated if he were the real mayor, every Friday he'd have "a huge party" ... Jets consider USC quarterback Matt Leinhart weak-armed and injury-prone and will not consider drafting him ... Won't it be wonderful not listening to NFL broadcaster Joe ("they failed to execute") Theisman for the next seven months?
-- Former Virginia Tech quarterback Marcus Vick, arrested for pulling a gun in a McDonald's parking lot, probably just wanted a job application. He claims he will just move up to the next level, which might be the top bunk in a jail cell. Many wish Vick would just "vaporize" ... See where the Gators were #1 in the nation in football recruiting. In 2003, they had the second best recruiting class but have been 24-13 since then and no conference championships. There are no guarantees.
-- Diploma mill University High School in Miami, which gifted athletes used to advance to college, has closed. Included in the $299 tuition package: faculty would paint your car any color. Terry Bradshaw was once a commencement speaker for Principal Ima Bonehead.
-- According to Denny of upstate New York, the average family of four washes one ton of laundry each year.
-- Injured skater Michelle Kwan got a free pass to the Olympics and didn't even need Jeff Gillooly (Tonya Harding's hubby).
-- Lakers' Kobe Bryant pumps up 46 shots, scores 81 points and dishes off zero assists and they pay coach Phil Jackson $10 million a year for this? Sponge Bob could coach this outfit ... Pacer CEO Donnie Walsh says he'll miss controversial Ron Artest very much. Walsh will undergo surgery to have 10 inches removed from the tip of his nose, as soon as he has finished celebrating ... Shaq O'Neal shoots one for 11 from the free throw line the other night--Doug Flutie could drop-kick that many. Conversely, Indiana's Cyndi Valentin currently has dropped in 81 consecutive free throws.
-- How about a rule that in order to be eligible for the World Baseball Classic, a player must be able to locate his "home" country on a globe?
-- Our salute to Valentine's Day -- Baseball's All-Romance Team: P - Ron Darling; C - Rick Sweet; 1b - Paul Casanova; 2b - Pete Rose; 3b - Jim Ray Hart; SS - Bobby Valentine; LF - Cupid Childs; CF - Ellis Valentine; and RF - Sandy Amoros.
-- In closing, this from Tom Taber -- Sign seen on a fence: "Salesmen are welcome! Dog food is expensive."
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)