-- Steroid investigator George Mitchell is inviting baseball's 'roid users to step forward and confess. In a related story, the FBI is planning an ice cream and cake party for its Ten Most Wanted ... One time Sand Key resident, ex-Yankee Gene Woodling, once homered off Hall of Fame Indians pitcher Early Wynn on June 24, July 24 and August 24, all in 1954 ... Mariners phenom Felix Hernandez throws a 98 mph fastball and an 88 mph curveball that starts at the shoulders, turns left faster than driver Jeff Gordon, then nosedives like Enron stock ... Last season, MLB umpires made only 100 incorrect calls (over 2,429 games), excluding balls and strikes. That's 94.9 percent accurate ... Astros' Lance Berkman on former teammate Jeff Kent: "J.K. doesn't discriminate anybody. He ignores Latinos, blacks and whites equally" ... On his property in Georgia, Braves pitcher John Smoltz has two full basketball courts, a 100-yard football field, a baseball diamond and a soccer field.
-- According to Maritza Silva, Apache chief Geronimo's Indian name Goyathlay means "one who yawns" in English.
-- Kids, looking for a role model with no tattoos, no entourage, someone who doesn't own a jet (flies commercial), who has no full-time coach and lives in a flat, not a mansion? The world's greatest tennis player, Roger Federer, who made $28 million last year, even throws pizza parties for ball boys at tournaments (because he was once one himself) which he actually attends. Pure class!
-- Why have a blimp flying over a closed-dome stadium? ... Lane Kiffin, Raiders' new young coach, 31, has put the real meaning of "baby" back in Oakland's slogan, "Just win, baby" ... If Titans' suspended DB Pacman Jones thinks he's been hanging with the wrong people, wait till he someday gets a load of the guys on his cell block ... Six years for the 49ers to build a new stadium? After the quake and fire, it didn't take San Francisco six years to rebuild the city.
-- NBA fans in China call Nuggets' Carmelo Anthony "Sweet Melon" and Shaq O'Neal "The Great Wall of South Beach".
-- Louisville hoops coach Rick Pitino claims his son Richard, 24, had "really paid his dues" before being hired a Cardinal assistant coach. Meaning the dues he paid mostly were to the Cub Scouts.
-- Two things a NASCAR driver does not want to hear from his spotter: "The wall is to your left" and "Tell me one more time, which car are you driving?"
-- In closing, Rich Tobin asks why do redneck dogs have flat noses? Answer: From chasing parked cars.
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)