-- Here come the big bad boys of fall ... Atlanta quarterback Michael Vick can't possibly be guilty of throwing a dog down and killing it. We all know Vick can't throw. We hear future Falcon halftime shows will include frisbee catching dogs! ... If an NBA ref can shave points, why not an NFL official? Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio says no way, because the NFL stands for--get this--integrity. We think he's been drinking more Seagram 7 than that NASA astronaut ... Mike Ditka skipped the recent Football Hall of Fame inductions, noting, "I didn't have to watch Michael Irvin cry like a girl." Irvin can now sign an endorsement with Kleenex ... Madden '07 video game sales have already surpassed $100 mil. That's twice what the Bengals spend on bail.
-- Love to see the South Florida Bulls with more big-time size on defense since they already have big-time speed ... If Gator quarterback Tim Tebow struggles with the air attack in big games, the film of his troubles will be more popular than The Bourne Ultimatum throughout the SEC ... The Hurricanes will move to Dolphin Stadium next season and recruiting will become easier (they're #5 in recruiting this year). For four years, their quarterback Kyle Wright has communicated with very few of his teammates.
-- According to Bob Richards, the great bustard is the heaviest flying bird (44 pounds, 41 inches long).
-- Local bumper sticker: "Jesus Saves! Why Can't the Rays Bullpen?" ... John McGraw didn't show up (a la Hank Aaron snubbing Barry Bonds) to honor Braves manager Bobby Cox when Cox broke McGraw's ejection record (132 games). We hear McGraw doesn't like to travel. When Cox retires, he plans to volunteer as a crossing guard for buffalo stampedes ... Plenty of Atlanta fans knew pitcher Tom Glavine as an abrasive, ill-mannered "better than you" jerk ... Ruth was The Babe. Aaron is The Man. Bonds always will be The Frankenstein Freak! ... Angel Stadium has had 188 rat violations over the past two years.
-- 71-year-old golfer Gary Player still does 1,000 ab crunches a day. John Daly looks like he does at least 1,000 Nestle Crunches a day.
-- How hot has it been? You know that crooked NBA referee is now fixing hockey games!
-- And finally, Jared Gorham asks why don't redneck factory workers get coffee breaks? Answer: It takes too long to re-train them.
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)
