-- A couple of reasons the Cubs haven't won a World Series since 1908: 100 years of bad umpiring and, despite Sammy Sosa's pleas, Chicago hitters have refused to cork their bats ... Injury woes may force our Rays to give comedian Billy Crystal a call ... Two years ago after being drafted by Tampa Bay, naive third baseman Evan Longoria asked a club official, "When was the last time you were in the playoffs?" ... Since Rays pitcher Al Reyes was tasered during a recent bar fight, his performance has been electrifying! ... Yogi Berra, almost 83, on his new "Yogi Bare" Lip Balm: "What more could I want?" ... Yankee Stadium and Shea Stadium will be demolished in October, putting stadium security on high alert expecting fans to "loot, loot, loot" for the home team all season long ... The Huntsville (Ala.) Stars (Double A) have invited Roger Clemens to be their mascot and wear an astronaut costume. He'd get $25 per game plus a voucher for a hot dog and soda. He'd have to take second billing to the club's primary mascot, "Homer the Polecat."
-- According to Charla Lucas, there are roughly 144,000 mosquitoes for every person on earth.
-- Tennis star Jelena Jankovic wore a dress made of cellphone parts to a players' party last month. People didn't like it. It got poor reception ... Way out Richard Williams a while back called Chris Everett "some little white no-good trasher who couldn't hit a ball." Imagine if Earl Woods had said that of Jack Nicklaus. Venus and Serena need to step up and repudiate this garbage from their father. By the way, Chrissie won 18 Grand Slam singles titles, including six U.S. Opens.
-- Have you noticed TV analysts Bob Knight and Joe Morgan have the amazing ability to make everything about themselves? At least we're not bored to death by lovable John Madden and dandy Dan Dierdorf.
-- In 1996 a courtside seat to the Final Four sold for $7,500. This year that same seat cost $20,000. That's nuts! ... Next Miami Heat fan promotion--buy two tickets, get 12 free.
-- Reportedly, former Bears quarterback Jim McMahon still mows his lawn in a thong.
-- And finally, Susie Thatcher tells us Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez's home in Miami is in such a ritzy neighborhood, the bird feeders there have salad bars.
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)