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That's Sports

by T.R. FAHY

-- On the 4th of July, American Joey Chestnut defeated six-time world champ Takeru Kobayashi of Japan in the annual Coney Island hot dog eating contest, proving we're still the best country at overeating junk food. Bet he also thumped Kobayashi in the Rolaids eating contest. Hope Joey didn't get too close to where they were preparing the wieners or it would have been "Chestnut's roasting on an open fire."

-- Elaine Fulps of Arlington, Texas won a promotional prize at a recent Grand Prairie Airdogs game--a $10,000 funeral. She said she hoped to eventually be "bured beneath a tree". Let's hope it's a pet-free cemetery ... A few weeks ago, Tiger catcher Brandon Inge pulled an oblique muscle adjusting a pillow for his three-year-old son. Sports fans everywhere--be extra careful with those pillows ... Red Sox handed out 15,000 J.D. Drew (often-injured) bobbleheads a while back, then immediately recalled them due to problems with the dolls' knees and hamstrings ... Did you know Hall of Famer Orlando Cepeda discarded his bat after every hit, believing each bat had only one hit in it.

-- According to Rich Tobin, cows have four stomachs that hold a total of 33 gallons.

-- After looking at the ticket prices, are the Bucs owned by OPEC? ... Former Buccaneer defensive lineman Warren Sapp should do all right on TV's Dancing with the Stars. He's used to being held!

-- Since the death of Uga VI, Georgia Bulldogs fans have been gathering outside the school's athletics offices, waiting for the white smoke that indicates a new mascot has been chosen (signal Vatican uses after selecting a new Pope).

-- We'd like to report a theft. It seems South Korea has stolen the LPGA Tour ... Golfer Craig Stadler on why he started using a new putter: "Because the other one didn't float."

-- Longtime Lakers fan Jack Nicholson always sits next to the visitors' bench and one game had a dispute with Bullets coach Dick Motta. Asked about it later, Motta exclaimed, "Nicholson goosed me."

-- At the famous Indianapolis 500, one third of the drivers were from Miami. That helps explain why so many people are driving like maniacs on Interstate 95.

-- And finally, Lisa Cook tells us about two termites who walk into a pub. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)

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