-- NFL bad boy wide receiver Plexico Burress was suspended one game and fined $117,000 for skipping practice to take his son to school. The family could have saved a lot of money had the kid followed his role model and simply played hooky ... Hall of Famer John Elway said his new fiancee didn't say yes until he popped the question three times. Another third down conversion for Elway ... Adam "Pacman" Jones was once again suspended, keeping with Dallas philosophy that you can never have too many cornerbacks with more career arrests than interceptions ... Bills quarterback Trent Edwards was sent to the locker room with a concussion following a fierce hit by Cardinals' Adeion Wilson in Arizona. He later said he could see Russia from there! ... O.J. Simpson could get 15 years in a Las Vegas jail (after all, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas).
-- Iowa football fans are the toughest in the Big 10 according to a poll of players by the News-Gazette of Champaign, Ill. Their favorite prank--throwing lit cigarette butts at the players.
-- On a Halloween note, Laurie Peacock tells us the world's largest spider is the goliath bird-eating spider found in Guyana with an 11-inch leg span.
-- Mets pitcher Johan Santana had surgery on his knee and should be back in the lineup in time for next year's September collapse. Coincidentally, female fans were given a commemorative "choker" as they exited Shea Stadium after the final game ... The oldest baseball park in the world belongs to Labatt Park in London, Ont. It opened in 1877 with Phillies pitcher Jamie Moyer on the mound ... White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen after intentionally walking 5'6 Dustin Pedroia: "I just walked a jockey."
-- Sarah Palin dropped the first puck at the Flyers-Ranger opener and gained valuable experience in international affairs. Have you seen the number of foreigners on the Ranger roster? ... Red Wings are heavy favorites--keep an eye on the Sharks and Canadians.
-- Indy 500 champ Helio Castroneves is charged with evading more than $5 million in income tax. Let's see how he will dance around this one!
-- And finally, Mary Byrd says sure the U.S. economy is sinking and the wealthy will get their bailouts but not to worry. We're all going to be given golden parachutes--no strings attached!
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)