-- 1950s wrestling legend Verne Gagne, 82, is being investigated in the death of his roommate, 97-year-old Helmut Gutmann, folowing a fight at a care home. I wonder if a folding chair was used?
-- Golfer Bruce Lansky: "The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray."
-- How about the English soccer match that was abandoned after a player was ejected and returned to the field brandishing a sword!
-- A couple of sure shot ways to save the Lightning's season: Put wide body Shaq O'Neal on his knees in goal and play home games at 7 a.m. and call them early bird specials.
-- Speaking of Shaq, he couldn't greet Barack Obama at the Phoenix Airport last month so he sent one of his autographed shoes. Guess Obama could nail on four wheels and let Sasha and Malia enter the Soap Box Derby ... Ken Mink, 73, was playing basketball for a Tennessee junior college when his lost his eligibility due to trouble in Spanish class. "I was young and stupid," he explained (a la A-Rod).
-- According to Jack Rains, his wife Donna has him on a golfer's diet--he lives on greens.
-- Alex Rodriguez blamed some of his problems on not getting a university education and said if he had a son, he would definitely recommend him going to college. Yeah, if you want to avoid all illegal drugs, what better place than college? ... Fans have been heckling A-Roid. It's probably more fitting to say fans have been "needling" him ... Tobacco-Free Florida Week was celebrated recently at a Cardinals-Marlins game in Jupiter with two skeletons seated in box seats to remind people why they should not smoke. Or were they supermodels? ... In 2003, there were zero sports franchises worth at least $1 billion. In 2008, there were 24.
-- The Miami Hurricanes swept three games from the Gators in baseball a couple of weeks ago. If Tim Tebow really is Superman, shouldn't he have been pitching, too?
-- Perhaps the 49ers should have taken a run at quarterback Kurt Warner considering the way 49er quarterbacks get sacked --maybe an ex-grocery clerk was the answer ... Cards wide receiver Anquan Bolden has 40 screws in his face from a vicious hit. He should loan his surgeon to Terrell Owens, Ocho Cinco, Randy Moss and any other wide receivers who have a screw loose.
-- In closing, Rich Baker asked a waiter why he couldn't seem to find any oysters in his soup. The waiter replied, "You don't expect to find angels in your angel food cake, do you?"
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)
