-- A new law in Louisiana allows guns in churches. Worshipers can now go to study the four gospels--Mark, Matthew, Smith & Wesson ... A fan at Yankee Stadium was recently hit in the face by a ball while talking on his cellphone. "That's really terrible," said absolutely no one ... The Wall Street Journal calculated that it takes New York's Alex Rodriguez 6 pitches to make $100,000 ... From Bill Madden's book "Steinbrenner", George treated his wife even worse than his employees, often swearing and berating her in public and banning her from his private dining room. Madden also suggests Barbara Walters was more than just a close friend ... Is it possible Astros' Geoff Blum injured his elbow while putting on a shirt and Padres' Mat Latos holding back a sneeze landed them on the disabled list? ...
-- According to Angie Spadaro, "Bobby" the parakeet, lost for two days in Withwood, England, was returned to its owner after he screeched out his name and address.
-- Le Bron James booked an hour of airtime to reveal his choice of teams. Not to be outdone, Brett Favre will announce his decision in an ESPN mini-series titled "Ego has landed" ... Ron Artest thanked his psychiatrist after the Lakers won the NBA championship. If the Bengals win the Super Bowl, wonder how many of them will thank their parole officers?
-- College football early consensus: 1 - Alabama; 2 - Ohio State; 3 - Texas. We like Miami if they upset Ohio State on September 11 and Boise State (20 returning starters) to meet in the finale.
-- Miami Heat's Dwayne Wade has signed a 6-year , $107 million contract and claims "it's about sacrifice now". He must be in another world! ... Meanwhile, the lowly Nets have signed a new hot dog vendor.
-- Mike Kman, 45, a church-league coach in Enola, Pa., has been charged with attempting to bribe two refs to favor his Lady of Lourdes boys hoops team. We didn't make this up.
-- The 2012 London Olympics is keeping BP as a sponsor. The Games are scheduled to go off on schedule, but afterward, the cleanup could take 14 years.
-- Lance Armstrong's bike popped a tire and fell behind in the Tour de France. What destroyed him was waiting two hours for AAA to show up. Now he will devote all his time to being arrogant.
-- In closing, Sharon Spadaro wakes up her husband John and whispers, "There's a burglar in the kitchen eating my leftover meatloaf." John replies, "Go back to sleep, I'll bury him in the morning."
(Some of the information in this column was obtained from other news organizations)